Tag Archive | Royal wedding

Far Out Brussel Sprout!

Ok – I have to say it – what was with those hats at THE WEDDING.

Beatrice and Eugenie, Tara, Posh, are you all nuts?  Such slavery to fashion that you are blind to the fact you look RIDICULOUS!

Fascinators pushed so far forward onto their foreheads that they must have been superglued to stay in place!  They looked like sail boats awaiting a push with a champers bottle for launch.

Fashion is one thing, purposely make celebs look stupid in the name of a trend is – well………..hilarious if you think about it.  Is this how designers take the p*ss?  They thought they looked hot, ummm, noooooooooo ladies.

First the Yorks….Bea, darling – a giant easter egg with arms on your head isnt attractive, and Euuuuuug, well – ugggggggh. Did your mum choose these as her little revenge for not being invited?

Tara, Tara, Tara, having the blues darlin’? I bet you were with that hat, it was tipped so far forward it defied gravity – needed a seeing eye dog to help you get around!

And Posh……. only just out-done by Tara in the how far can your hat tip forward stakes but all in BLACK – for a wedding – tacky tacky tacky.  Even preggers you are skinny so the black wasnt needed and made you look vamped up enough for a part in Twilight.

Ahhhh – I feel better now – so endeth the rant!

I, Toldyah

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Pass the Princess & other wedding fever games

Yep, it’s THAT day.  April 29, 2011.  The day a poor commoner gets sucked into the English Monarchy, chomped up, bashed about and spat out as a Princess.

Poor, poor Kate.  Her life is not one many of us would choose.  I mean, meeting your Prince Charming as a reality would be cool, but that’s where the fairytale ends….. paparazzi, no private life, no popping down the street for a solitary walk to blow out the cobwebs, having to be friendly to weird politicians trying to feel you up. Gain a kilo and you’re shot, lose a kilo too much and you are accused of courting the devil.  She can’t win!  And yet she is a very valuable tool for the royals – another Princess Di.

Anyway, that’s the future, let’s focus on today – last night in fact, and the time I spend being sucked into wedding fever and doing what I imagine millions of others have done in the last few weeks – looked at my family history on the various Family History websites – Ancestry, Genes Reunited.

Afterall, Kate is a commoner – so there is this very slight glimmer that we, common as muck, royal watchers, may be a long lost cousin.  A story to tell you friends on this wedding day “oh yes – we share the same great great great great great great great great grandfather dahhhhhhhhhhhhhhlink”!

As a digression – commoners are more likely to be related to royalty via some loopy uncle with a embarrassing penchant for emitting noxious gasses that lived in the 1300’s.  Tell your friends THAT story!

Back to the point – so there I was, searching the family history.  My mum was from England, so entertainment value aside, the search wasnt all a joke.  And then we have the fact my nan’s maiden name was in fact Middleton, and they lived in the same general area – Yorkshire, as Kate’s family.  Flicking back through my ancestors in the hope of finding a common ancestor my roadblock was David.  Nope not Beckham – why is he attending the wedding BTW?  David Middleton, born sometime 1842 to 1845.  Who’s yah daddy David – ‘cos I cant figure it out!  And you’re stopping me applying for an emergency invitation to the wedding!

Dead end for the Middletons I am afraid.  David wont give up his secrets yet.  Stuff the fact I am descended from Edward III (pfffft – as are about half of England I believe – nothing to be excited about).   If you know who David’s parents are can you drop me a line please?

I’ll have to watch the wedding from home and marvel in the making of a princess.  Chockies and champers on the couch, no corgis though.  Poor Kate.  I hope love can transcend everything!

Enough time not working – time to get some Toldyah stuff done.

Enjoy the fairytale.  For a hilarious look at the nuptials try this

I, Toldyah