Of course, it begs the question – why not stay in a luxe hotel??????? Because we are camping daaaaaaaaahlink, CAMPING like the plebs. Slumming it in style!
When I was a kid we took our version of glamping (a 4 person tent which had a separate sleeping area – sooooooo la-di-dah for the day), whacked it up in the camp grounds at Wilson’s Prom, and dined on gas barbecued food for each meal. No fridge apart from a little esky, topped daily with ice, no tv, loo or sink (we had a washing up bucket and the local amenities block). It was fun – we got to know the neighbours, we played for hours whilst the parents drank cask wine and laughed a lot.
How soft have we become that such trials are beyond us. Our cavemen great great great (etc) grandaddies would be horrified.
I’ve decided to invent a couple of new crazes to harden people back up – so please, check out the delightful experiences below and send you bookings to email@example.com. Act quick – places are going fast! Have your credit card ready.
Experience 1 – Nanping
You get to stay with nan and pop for 3 nights and do all the chores the old-fashioned way ‘cos they don’t have new-fangled contraptions like washing machines and powered mowers – also doubles as a get fit experience.
Experience 2 – Gramping
You are given some sticks, palm fronds, instructions and a stone, and left on a deserted island for 7 luxurious days and nights. A totally sustainable holiday! Green Camping at it’s best. Also can be utilised as a weight loss experience or training week for Survivor TV series.
Experience 3 – Stramping
We saved the best for last. Live on the streets of New York for 5 fun-filled nights! We kit you out with a newspaper and shopping cart and off you go exploring back alleys and park benches. Also doubles as an Entrepeneurs’ Survival experience.
And no – this is not able disrespecting street wanderers – it is about commenting on how hard their lives are – so please – no angry comments!
Branding……..it’s one of those intangibles that can make or break a business. Imagine Nike – without the logo and saying. What about McDonalds – my 2-year-old sees those golden arches and says chippies (I am a bad mother, I know)…… or Victoria’s Secret and those saucy lingerie designs on heavenly bodies (Oh no, I’ve lost the male readers now – COME BACK guys, there are more scantily clad women later in the blog!)
Brand is everything. It tells everyone who you are, what you offer, and how you offer it. It reminds people of your offerings – a simple colour purple apparently means Cadbury chocolate (after that nasty court case anyway) whilst a ribbon device screams Coke…. Oh, wait a minute, Mmmmmmmm – chocolate.
Not just businesses and products are branded either – Paris Hilton, perhaps the biggest brand in semi-human form (Barbie can’t be completely human, too much plastic fantastic going on), Princess Diana, and now increasingly, poor cousin Kate (Duchess Catherine to those great unwashed masses without the good fortune to a tenuous genetic link such as I have – see Pass the Princess post if you don’t understand).
Perhaps one to the biggest non-consumption brands in the world is so well-known that I need only put up a pic for your to know who I am referring to. Most amazing is that you need never have used the product in any form but chances are you still know and have a strong opinion about it.
Yep – the Playboy bunny. Toldyah guys – scantily clad women are back! Playboy the brand is spearheaded by the octogenarian woman-aholic Hefner with such a passion it makes your head spin (and their breasts heave). Of course poor Hef is in a spot of bother this week – having been dumped by his 25-year-old fiance as they started the zimmerframe walk down the aisle (they had to start out early – Hef needs regular rests at his age and wanted to be ready for a Viagra filled wedding night). What a shock! Well…. no… not really. But was it a huge publicity stunt to help the Playboy brand? Afterall, the current issue with the “runaway bride” on the cover is hot property, and media everywhere is discussing the break up. All feels a bit cheap though doesn’t it. Playboy was always the nudey mag with class. Since the lovely girls next door left the mansion it all seems to have become a bit tawdry. Not at all the Playboy Brand we know, and love…….. Is perhaps the brand attempting to change to meet a younger market? A market that gets porn online and doesn’t read a mag for its articles……. I wonder – were they attempting to get more female customers by making Hef the poor jilted lover? Interesting isn’t it. The power of the brand.
Anyway, enough gossip. What about the Toldyah brand…… what is it?
Fun loving for sure. Entertaining. Irreverent – DEFINITELY. Young. Cutting edge. Giving power to the masses to make their own choices. Oooh – getting wayyyyyy to serious there!
Back to fun stuff – about to launch some videos and some brilliant news on how you can WIN by uploading videos – so go become a fan of Make Me Famous (click here) on Facebook ASAP
Also check out my new concept – Coming Soon….Hef’s next Top Girlfriend
c u very soon!
If you are a regular reader (yes you Mr X, I found out who you are and a case of champers is on its way, without one person actually reading it does seem a bit pointless to write!), then you’ll know I blogged about some less than happy comments on a fantastic win I had last Friday.
Well, a few more happened over the next few days – and some people put their sleuthing incapabilities to work and realised that 2 + 2 = 6. They found my blog here at Toldyah and started making all sorts of strange assumptions! Conspiracy theories flew ’round Facebook quicker than a US presidential assasination (ok ok – you found me out – I was the sniper on the grassy knoll).
After it got really stupid (having been amusing for the 2 hours before that) I decided I perhaps should explain that Toldyah The Blog, and Tania the apparent professional comper with undies of steel were in fact the same person. My only thought was just to stop the stupidity that was affecting the Appliances Online FB page, but it ended up in a completely unexpected and somewhat hilarious result. Not to mention a HUGE lesson in marketing 101.
I had my 2 biggest ever visitor numbers on the day I posted and the next day – WOW. Now – this blog isn’t well-known (wish it was – if any syndicated media outlet would like to pick it up – I write cheap). In fact, getting 100 readers on a day would make me crack open the bubbly, but hey, 80 people having a gander isn’t bad when I don’t yet have a website ready or the launch up and running.
VERY IMPORTANT LESSON HERE – PUBLICITY IS ALL GOOD, EVEN WHEN ITS BAD.
Dont get me wrong – I am not planning to go get arrested (I’m not as rich or influential as Paris or Ms Lohan). But making a controversial statement can be both fun and rewarding for business……. and THAT is a marketing tool I can use for my launch plan.
So – anyone out there in reader land want to suggest some controversial topics I could bend to my advantage? I am also putting a survey up on this topic for some of my ideas….
And if you have come over from Appliances Online – hello and welcome! Yes – the recipe on the Cook Me page really is mine, but no, my undies aren’t made of steel. They are diamond encrusted tho’