Of course, it begs the question – why not stay in a luxe hotel??????? Because we are camping daaaaaaaaahlink, CAMPING like the plebs. Slumming it in style!
When I was a kid we took our version of glamping (a 4 person tent which had a separate sleeping area – sooooooo la-di-dah for the day), whacked it up in the camp grounds at Wilson’s Prom, and dined on gas barbecued food for each meal. No fridge apart from a little esky, topped daily with ice, no tv, loo or sink (we had a washing up bucket and the local amenities block). It was fun – we got to know the neighbours, we played for hours whilst the parents drank cask wine and laughed a lot.
How soft have we become that such trials are beyond us. Our cavemen great great great (etc) grandaddies would be horrified.
I’ve decided to invent a couple of new crazes to harden people back up – so please, check out the delightful experiences below and send you bookings to email@example.com. Act quick – places are going fast! Have your credit card ready.
Experience 1 – Nanping
You get to stay with nan and pop for 3 nights and do all the chores the old-fashioned way ‘cos they don’t have new-fangled contraptions like washing machines and powered mowers – also doubles as a get fit experience.
Experience 2 – Gramping
You are given some sticks, palm fronds, instructions and a stone, and left on a deserted island for 7 luxurious days and nights. A totally sustainable holiday! Green Camping at it’s best. Also can be utilised as a weight loss experience or training week for Survivor TV series.
Experience 3 – Stramping
We saved the best for last. Live on the streets of New York for 5 fun-filled nights! We kit you out with a newspaper and shopping cart and off you go exploring back alleys and park benches. Also doubles as an Entrepeneurs’ Survival experience.
And no – this is not able disrespecting street wanderers – it is about commenting on how hard their lives are – so please – no angry comments!