Tag Archive | Facebook

Tick Tick Boom, Facebook says goodbye

Are you ready for it?   I warned you all…….. it was coming……….. did you listen and prepare?  Did you arrange Google plus accounts and sign up to Toldyah?  Or will you be without any form of social media contact in 48 hours?

November 5 approaches……. A slow steady drumbeat as the seconds tick by, bringing us closer to the day Anonymous will take down Facebook.  Woo hoo.  Get those end of the world parties planned people, for what world is worth living in without Facebook?  Will the world even continue to spin without FB supporting it?  Perhaps there will be a collective throwing up of arms and the world will implode when we all realise we can’t give our bestie’s latest outfit the thumbs up, or lay abuse on a multinational conglomerate,s first tentative and poorly attempted foray into the harsh world of social commentary.

What happens if the world, by some twist of fate, survives this decimation?  What will it be?  How will we survive without the 631 connections we barely know?  Imagine – having to send an EMAIL with pics attached, *shiver*, so 1990’s.  Will life be worth living without Company advertising taking up our news feed?

Will it be the rise of LinkedIn, or will Google Plus enslave us with its clean, circular offering?  Will Toldyah suddenly become the world’s choice for computer chat, be snapped up by some .com squillionaire for billions, making me a happy gal as I kick back on my own private island whilst minions cater to my every whim?  Will Kim Kardashian offer to marry Facebook to save the day, then tells us all 10 weeks later it was a sham?  Or perhaps the principles of probability will win the day, and Anonymous are only tricking, Facebook will remain the uber-lord it is today, and the doom mongers like me will find something else to write about…..

Damn – that’s no fun!  Come on Anonymous – Make MY day!

I, Toldyah.

The end is nigh – repent all ye Facebookers

Yes, its true.  The Mayans predicted it, The Knights Templar have worked tirelessly to avoid it, and Google plus is secretly rubbing their hands with glee…..

On November 5 the world as we know it will END.  Get your affairs in order people.  Stock up your Farmville larders.  Gather to ye all yon friends and get real life contact details for them. 


Facebook threat is end of world

Ok now – stop panicking….. it’s ok.  We will go on.  Make no mistake, it will be difficult.  There will be no status updates.  No sharing stupid viral YouTube vids of kittens fallen off the lounge.  No tagging pics of mates vomiting at 4am after too many mimosas. And to contact a friend you will in fact make the effort to phone or text, or scarier still – catch up in real-time. 

All right, all right, STOP hyperventilating – it will be fine, you will learn to deal with it.

Anonymous have apparently decided FB needs to meet oblivion (oblivion of course has already met Facebook – that’s why it’s so boring).   Anonymous say “prepare for the post-Facebook reality”………  Oooh – scary.

Tremble in your boots people.  Why can’t they do something useful and take down the bank holding my mortgage LOL.  Or the electricity companies accounts departments – now THAT would make us all happy.

Anyway, back on topic – I have great news!  All the Facebook addicts out there who’ve marked Nov 5 with a big black cross, DO NOT FEAR!  All ye FB sinners, REPENT & REJOICE for Toldyah is your saviour!  We will lift you up from the desolation of the Anonymous FB wasteland and turn your eyes to the righteous path.

Toldyah - making yah famous, vid uploads, tell it like it is

Toldyah will soothe your soul, allow you to upload vids to talk to one another, feed you your daily ration of electronic data, and all without the mega goliath attitude of sucky old FB. 

So come visit our lil start up – and if you want to know more, I am looking for a Tech Co-founder and financial partners….please use the form below to contact me!

Perhaps Anonymous can lend me some money?????????

Stay strong people, we shall prevail.

I, Toldyah.



Shagadelic – What’s in a Name?????

Every thought about what goes into making a business name up? Probably not, although the whole iSnack 2.0 debacle does come to mind……. Choosing names is a critical success factor for any biz and can take months to decide. These days it is made even more complicated as you have to find domain names to match.  It seems every US word under the sun has been registered, leading to some very odd choices for emerging start ups! Wakoopa, Frengo, Squidoo or Meebo- just to name a few!

Of course some choices are just bad, especially when combined to make a domain:

Others start out bad but become accepted and their weirdness or boringness forgotten – iPad (ummm, yeah, women around the world shuddered at the thought of unmentionable ladies products) and Facebook (yawnnnnnnnn).

Then there are the brilliant naming strategies, like Shagbook.  It’s a matchmaking site of course.  LOVE IT – the name, no idea about the site LOL.   Facebook doesn’t love it though.  Like Teachbook before it, they are picking up their massive hammer to pummel the startup into nanodes. Why? ‘cos the name may bring disrepute to Facebook!!!!!!!  Oh come on – stop being so utterly and completely BORING Facebook – loosen up mate.  Take a chill pill and grow a sense of humour (for note – Apple – YOU too can take this advice – leave off all the courtroom drama and get back to making life interesting – you will actually make MORE money THAT way). 

In fact, the big biz trend setters are becoming remarkably snoozeworthy these days aren’t they.  Being a Goliath seems to make you too conservative, you lose touch with the edge. Must be all the bean counters that infect such organisations in their grey suits and balding heads.  All hail the mighty dollar, we must gather you to us, we must not spend, but we must snatch you from competitors and customers by the truckloads.  The problem with these guys is that the only place they get creative is in the books.  They can’t see the need to innovate to remain a market leader, especially in this technological age.  3M learned this error a few years ago when appointing a CPA to the top job – cut spend on innovation, in a company that is all about innovation, and then watched the biz nosedive in a free fall for 2 years.  They are still recovering!

Note to Facebook, you are becoming truly awful. Forgot to remain relevant and novel whilst figuring out how to extort ridiculous money from businesses for advertising campaigns that don’t work.  Google plus is a much better option, interesting and a bit different.  Just needs to get to the tipping point and FB is going to slide into the abyss – whilst all those balding grey suits try to jump ship and go destroy the next rolling stone.

And Apple – ah Apple – so successful, but so controlling.  Buying an Apple device is like having dad in control of your life forever. They assume you will be naughty so constrain everyone within an inch of their lives to prevent the tiny minority of innovators that find ways to do “stuff”.  The latest – cameras will be disabled at functions like concerts so people can’t upload the event live to the net.  WOW – if I want to record a memorable moment of my mates and I screaming at Bon Jovi I can’t.  Talk about draconian steps to crush a small problem – instead you could have just prevented uploads by blocking signals, and if artists are concerned about uploads down the track (they shouldnt – its advertising) then they can utilise lighting strategies to prevent video viewer comfort – derrrrrrrrrr!  No soup for you……  and no Apple for me!

It’s the little people who are truly innovating and pushing the envelope – because they need to, to compete and be noticed, but also because they have the freedom to do so.  Biz like Toldyah are looking at the future. 

And now for the advert  – I am looking still for a Tech Cofounder (no money needed, just your brilliant and somewhat irreverant innovative mind) to partner with me at ToldyahCPA’s need not apply!

I, Toldyah.

She’ll be coming round the mountain…….

I was just asked by a journalist for a quote on starting up a biz as a woman……… thought about it for a while and came up with this as the most relevant comment I can make from where I currently stand in the process:

A successful startup is about finding the fortitude to keep butting your head against the barriers even when everyone else has turned away, keeping strong to your vision whilst taking onboard the criticism, and remembering why you wanted to start in the first place.  Hard work, long hours, and a happy outcome.

Be a star!

In other words – stand back up every time you get smacked down, learn to say “yes, but,” and keep your eye on the end prize – a better life for the family.

Of course – I don’t have the happy outcome at the mo……..  In fact, we’re so far into boot-strapping that I am going back to work to make ends meet.  So Toldyah is about to become after hours only for a while.  But that’s ok – adversity breeds success they say – so the universe must be breeding a humongous win for me – woo hoo!

I am busy butting my head against the barriers, and having people turn away, unwilling to help.  I’m trying to get people to see what I can see.  All entrepreneurs with novel ideas go through this stage – some for a long time.  iPad………how many laughed at the time????  I did!  Just wish I had Steve Jobs money behind me!

The problem is getting the money people to understand why this will work.  How 2 years from now everyone will be using video as the means of communication rather than text – WHY CANT THEY SEE THAT????? It’s a no-brainer.   Already there is movement for using vid – so many comps and promos out now, Google plus chat, Facebook/Skype chat…….  am waiting for Murdoch’s Illegal Chat app to be released – the vid you make when you don’t know your being taped! 

Video chat on facebookAnyway, just putting this out there to the universe so it can bring on that big win – you know where I live – I’m a-waiting…….

Video chat

In the mean time – Google, Facebook, Microsoft acquisition teams, CALL ME!

I, Toldyah.

Here’s one we prepared earlier

YES, yes – for my one reader, today marks a turning point – a day of pure, unadulterated excitement.  Why, you ask…….. ah Mr X I can always count on you for the right response! 

Today, it THE day.  Unveiling the plans.  With a wave of my magic wand, taaaaaah daaaaaaaaaah………its the official non-launch!  Cue the fanfare, streamers and doves.

Hehe, non-launch………’cos yes, there is a live site, and yes the business model is now public (NO COPYING MSSRs BRANSON, GATES, etc etc).  But it isnt actually the real site – it is a test site, so no official launch, just a little private lap dance *wink wink*

I can hear the anticipation in your sucked in breath, the inaudible muttering of get on with it…. such excitement to get to the big unveil…..patience dear reader.  Modern convention means you have to get thru the ad break before you can sample the nirvana-like qualities for Toldyah in the flesh.   Well, in the ether really, isn’t it.

What you are about to sample isn’t finished or even fully functioning – I talked previously about my lack of technical knowledge, and I did this myself!  BTW – if you are technically challenged and want a cool website give wix.com a go – they are Aussies and it is pretty simple to do!

Well – that’s the advertising done, so on with the show – are you ready? Hold on to your undies and get ready for the ride! 

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN – introducing, for your viewing pleasure: TOLDYAH……… We’ll Make Yah Famous.  An entertainment hub to share your consumer experiences by video.  Upload a video and we’ll do the rest.  Check out the reviews, make shopping fun with mobile scanning technology. Earn rewards for tell us what you’ve bought and what you thought about it!

Check it Out – and please – send me vid’s to upload  I need them ASAP to pitch to investors next Wednesday 28 July.  Keep them under a minute or so, and send as many as you like.  I am setting up a YouTube channel tonight and will put the link in here as soon as I can.

Woo hoo – now the ride has really started!

I, Toldyah

A sign of the times………..

Social Media is big business these days.  It is a platform that reaches people whilst they work, play, even sleep!  No other medium has ever had such exposure!  We tweet the brekkie menu, upload pics of the slammin’ night out as we eat the 3am manky kebab (and then try desperately to remove them the next morning before the wrong person sees them).  We status update the latest family argument, and we send birthday messages rather than phone. And it seems we tweet our impending doom prior to it arriving – truly a sign of our times isn’t  it:

Sounds like I am complaining huh?  But I am not.  I use FB, Twitter and Google + everyday.  Many times a day.  I have avoided getting a Smart Phone cos I KNOW what will happen then!  But that day is coming very soon, I need one for the business. Can you hear the slow drum beat rolling me towards my doom…

(And BTW – HTC – if you are reading – I would LOVE a Sensation…..pleaseeee, even though it does seem to mean I am moving to Telstra for it!)

On the upside, I now speak with my UK and Dutch cousins on a frequent basis, and have shared a lot of family history that would otherwise have been lost.  And I see pics and updates about friends interstate in real-time, as do they of my family. Whether they want to or not hehehe.

And then there are the other uses – commercial gain from entertaining the masses.  Which is where Toldyah is about to strike!  But more on that later.  I have been trolling the ethers for funny commentaries on Social Media and thought I would share them to lighten the day.

Richard Branson uses Twitter to update his good deeds – and make some political statements – I love him for putting himself out there – stay true Sir Richard!

And then there are those funny status updates…….. there is always a friend like Mr Red isn’t there…….you just pray it aint YOU!

And some other tweets and FB status offerings: The Bosha one is my fave – please turn up this Saturday at my place with paintbrushes!

____ People who claim to “play music by ear” always use their hands. (donni)
____ is organizing a flash mob at my place, Thursday 3pm. Bring lawnmowers. (TheBosha)
____ Some days I ask, “What would Chewbacca do?” And the answer is always, “Make that gargly roaring sound.” So that’s what I do. (RexHuppke)
____ I’d like to learn one of those clicking languages from Africa because I get the feeling my knees are trying to tell me something. (plemur)

____ Sometimes I like to go to the hardware store and run around with a screwdriver shouting, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a drill!” (girlweena)
____ The Internet makes things so convenient. Before it existed, if you wanted to order a DVD online, you had to invent the Internet. (StephenAtHome)
____ After intensive research I have determined that there is no type of juice that a double shot of vodka doesn’t improve. (navanax)
____ That’s me in the corner. That’s me with my i-Phone, losing my reception. (depreciated)

Well, enough mucking around – time to do some work – catch yah

I, Toldyah.