Yes, I am still here – What’s In a Name? Colour of course!

2 months without a post, uggh.  Started a new full-time role which as a greenfields startup required a huge amount of front end work, which I assumed was further on when I arrived – WRONG! So silly me made sure we meet the deadline.  And am now paying for it with 8 days of illness and resultant inability to sleep more than 20 mins at a time – yay!  Please meds – kick in!  Counting sheep aint cutting it.

When I finally do go mad, I will write a post much stranger even than my standard  ones and someone can ring for the rubber truck! Hmm – or perhaps when I go mad I will actually revert to normalcy and that will be the sign to call in the purveyors of electroshock therapy (they guarantee you leave with a buzz).  In the mean time, to keep my mind from wandering into abject boredom in these dark hours, I thought I would get on here and bash some keys – problem is what to rant about??????????

It’s not that I can’t think of anything – it’s just that in my sleep deprived state, not much is funny – I mean – look at the above – just one joke (I hope you noticed it, I am very proud of that one).

Oooooooooh – lets talk baby names.  You know where I am going………. Blue……..Ivy………  are you kidding?  Ivy Blue is sort of, almost, acceptably poetic, but come on people, standard colours don’t make glam names.  You can’t have a celebrity parent couple of the mega hypedom that encircles Beyonce and Jay-Z, and then chose a flatliner for the child:  “Hi, my name is Blue and this is my mum Beyonce and dad Jay-Z, as you can tell they don’t love me, because they came up with my name by looking at the medicare form and picking the ink colour.  I mean BJZ, what is wrong with azure, aqua, cerulean cobalt, cornflower, cyan, denim, midnight, navy, indigo, smalt, ultramarine, or brandeis.  I think it should have been Smalt, we just can’t get enough Smalts in the world.  Quick Blue, go change it by deedpoll, Smalt is where it’s at y’all.  Plus – her initials are BIC – the pen theme is playing strong isn’t it!  Atleast as Smalt Ivy Carter she can be fully SIC!

And then there was that song…….lol.

  • I wreck havoc on the world, Get ready for part  two,A younger, smarter, faster me………………...I am hoping she is more like her mama.
  • You don’t yet know what swag is but you was made in Paris and mama woke up the next day and shot her album package…. Jay-Z, wayyyy too much information, just zip it up.

So what other celeb baby names did we welcome…..

  • Monroe – Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon    hmmmmmm, not bad
  • Amaya Josephine – Adopted daughter Mariska Hargitay Oh so gonna get bullied at school
  • Gemma – Kristin Davis    Boringly normal, like Kristin really.
  • Hattie – Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott   OMG, no, no, no, no
  • Madison – Spice Girl Melanie Brown,  Pffffffffft, so 2010
  • Delilah – Kimberly Stewart and Benicio del Toro  Where is Tom Jones when you need him?
  • Clover – Actor Neal McDonough     Meaning she will be an irritating pest
  • Haven – Jessica Alba and Cash Warren    or harbour, port, or A grade shopping complex.
  • Penelope – Tina Fey   in for a penny, in for a pound I suppose, take that as you will.
  • Emily –  KISS singer Paul Stanley   Isnt he too old for kids? He must be like 100……
  • Indiana – Ethan Hawke        So 1990’s – like Ethan!
  • Arabella – Ivanka Trump    Why not name her Ka-ching, cos that is what the boys will be thinking
  • Harper Seven – Victoria and David Beckham    I guess the vacuous, skin deep style trolls actually did ok for a change
  • Agnes – Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany    I hear church bells and see doves
  • Willow – Pink and Carey Hart   I see switches and bondage scenes
  • Kira – Joey McIntyre        Blah, yawn
  • Mia – Ian Ziering    Mia’s will one day take over the earth, they are multitude
  • Sydney – Laila Ali    Come on  – add Harbour Bridge and she can rent herself out for NYE
  • Ava – Melissa Rycroft and Tye Strickland    Ageless, timeless, and sparkless
  • Joni – Zac Brown of Zac Brown Band     I see the Fonz………but the thumbs are down
  • Olivia – Tom Hanks’ son, Colin Hanks      Tom’s a grandpa – cool. Hope he took a bawx of chawklaahts to hospital
  • Sadie – Christina Applegate     J Farnham is unretiring to sing this poor girl into a career in janitorship
  • Coco – No Doubt bassist Tony Kanal   Mmmmmmm – warm and rich, goes down well, not a great choice then
  • Faith – Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban     Yawn and yawn again
  • Kase – Jewel and Ty Murray        Oh lordy, how can I not: Jewel Kase….hahaha
  • Aleph – Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied    WTF?????????????
  • Bingham – Kate Hudson and Matthew Bellamy      So wrong, I see a chequered future lol
  • Cree – Tia Mowry and Cory hardrict     I think this is dolphin language
  • Bear Blu – Alicia Silverstone      She was obviously still taking gas as she completed the forms
  • Moroccan – Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon   Naming a child for place of conception wont help them in school, Shhhhh
  • Skyler – Rachel Zoe and Rodger Berman        I like it, although his head may be in the clouds
  • Cleo Friends star David Schwimmer      Venomous personality tipped.
  • Kannon – Kevin James    Lives life with a boom?  Perhaps addicted to baked beans
  • Andrew Nicolas –  Mariska Hargitay      Boring
  • Genesis – Viola Davis       A beginning!  But will he ever finish anything?
  • Emmett- Spencer Grammer      You can see him in a lab coat too can’t you?
  • Colt – Big & Rich’s John Rich   He has a nag of a wife and horse for a son?  Rancher men hey!
  • Weston – Jenna Fischer      Jenna is excitedly awaiting arrival of her 2nd son to be named Country
  • Marcel – Marion Cotillard      He will try to communicate without speech, people think him a tosser.
  • Tristan – Donald Trump Jr.    Please stop marrying models and having kids, u r depleting the gene pool
  • Spike – Mike Myers        A funny man methinks
  • Xander – January Jones     My top pick – cool but not pretentious (unlike my list hehe)
  • London – Dr. Phil’s son, Jay McGraw      Again with the conception spoiler – stop it – we don’t want to know
  • Milo – Alyssa Milano   Naming your child for a beverage is never going to be good
  • Arthur – Selma Blair       Expecting a king are we?  Or did a joker emerge?
  • Waylon – Drea de Matteo and Shooter Jennings       He’ll play quarterback, but always overshoot the mark.
  • Felix – Elizabeth Banks    She had a cat?  Sheesh… boundaries these days
  • Flynn – Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr       Uber trendy couple, picked a swashbuckling name
  • Kroy JaggerReal Housewives of Atlanta Kim Zolciak   Yay, our evil overlord Commander Kroy has arrived – all Hail!

Ahhhhhh – well there is a bit of fun, and killed 2 hours of my long, cough filled night.  Remember – before naming your child, check the domain register to ensure their name is not already taken, because having to be isnt going to cut it in the dating world.

Talk soon!

I, Toldyah

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About Tania - Food Defender

A quality food professional and consumer with a passion for social media and a belief that we should get what we pay for! The only way to ensure that - consumer reviews! All about products, services, the good, bad and ugly. Lets help each other. Ask, Tell, Communicate!

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